I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
