i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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