I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
