Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
