advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I'm at about main and main street
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
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