I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
