Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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