Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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