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CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
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