Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.