If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
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