i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
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