their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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