got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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