hell yes lets make some ravioli
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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