The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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