I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
you had me at cake vodka
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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