wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
whose ass print is on the piano?
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
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