there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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