i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize
