He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
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