I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
