That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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