in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
