Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
