Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
