I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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