return my video game
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
