out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
did i walk over a car last night?
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Randomize
