don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
