I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
