hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Are my feet made of real feet?
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Randomize
