if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
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