He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
His hands were made for my vagina.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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