Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
