I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
