I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize