Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize