so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize