Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Randomize
