Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
