I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
