He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
