I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
