somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Randomize
