I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
