yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
