Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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