bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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