I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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