I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Betty ford says i'm here all night
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I will be naked everywhere
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
