New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
