Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize