I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
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