atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize