when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
