thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Randomize
