He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
