You made me cry and you don't even care
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
