can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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