he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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