Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
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