you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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