is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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