you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
...so i touched it.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Randomize
